Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Everything will be alright

Bullet's death really hit Andrew this evening. He had a tantrum over me getting a cherry on my sundae and he didn't get one. I realized that he had quite a weekend, busy and happy to spend time with his grandparents, but sad that he lost his doggie. He hasn't dealt with death before and this was very abstract because, although I explained that Bullet was sick and might not live, he didn't have a chance to say good bye. We told Andrew that Bullet's body was at the vet's and that he was in our hearts and memories, and we would be getting Bullet's ashes back, but he didn't quite realize that Bullet really wasn't going to come home again. It was so hard to see him hurting, knowing how he feels (because I feel that way too). Tim gave Andrew a picture of Bullet to keep with him and say good bye to and that helped. He also has a stuffed dog that is the same colors as Bullet and he renamed that dog Bullet. Tonight before bed we read the last chapter of Charlotte's Web, which was his choice, which is where Charlotte's children hatch. Wilbur thinks about how Charlotte will always have a place in his heart. I was proud of Andrew for choosing that chapter to read and thought he was very wise to want to read about remembering Charlotte and meeting her children rather than reading about her death. He is expecting to be sad until we get a part of Bullet back, meaning his ashes, and that may happen. He wants to bury Bullet's ashes "up north" since Bullet always loved being there, which I think is also wise and thought full. I am very proud of my little boy. He has grown today, even though that growing hurt, and appreciates the love we give to and receive from our pets and each other a little more.

I will talk about knitting next time, I did do quite a bit while riding in the car. Last night I appreciated having a place to put down my thoughts when I couldn't sleep. Thank you for the kind comments Jess and Cynthia.


Jess said...

Poor Andrew. It was very smart of him to choose the end of Charlotte's Web as his bedtime reading last night - there's some good healing in that part, I think.

Maybe he can choose something to plant in Bullet's memory. My aunt and uncle have planted rose bushes over the ashes of their departed pets, and we are planning something similar. A good lesson about how we go back to the earth after our deaths to bring forth new life and all that.

Dreaming again said...

April, I'm so sorry to hear about Bullet. I know how heart breaking it is to loose a pet.

I've commented a time or two here, I'm Tim's Aunt Peggi in Oklahoma.

I don't know how often talk to Tim's Dad, Mike, but if you do, could you pass on a message for me ... I know, strange thing to ask of someone you've never met, and through the blogsphere at that ... I keep meaning to call him and by the time I remember, it's far too late, and I'm far too exhausted to talk.

My husband Don is critically ill in the hospital. We are pretty sure he'll pull through right now, but we know that life will not be the same. He will most likely need to come home needing external ventilation at night, and oxygen during the day.

I think he has my cell phone number ... if not, he can call our sister Debbie, who will give him the more accurate update.

Thanks. I'll also let Terry know on his Facebook as well. I should have thought of this 10 days ago when Don got sick ... but my brain's been a bit fried.

Knittymama said...

Oh, I just read your post about Bullet. I am so, so sorry and my heart goes out to you guys. It's so difficult to lose a loved pet.

I really like Jess' idea about planting something in his memory. It might help Andrew to have something to focus on; picking out a plant, digging in the earth, etc...


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